The radical moves in transformation

🍃 Going through some sort of transformation:

🍃 Acquiring new skills

🍃 Developing new capabilities

can be a real shock for our system even if we deeply desire this change. 

I see this every day with my coaching clients and with myself.

📌 We are so used to our current ways. 

📌 We have a particular idea in mind of what we aspire towards. 

📌 We try things out but usually we very often go to the other spectrum of the scale.

📌 We get scared of the new way as we experience it from the perspective of our current way of being.

📌 We start resisting.

Let me give you an example:

I used to be unaware of my feelings and needs. I had certain abilities to empathise with others but was quite disconnected with myself in the not so distant past. 

This manifested in me feeling numb, having the impression that something was wrong or missing although I had all the reasons on the surface to be a very happy person. 

When I discovered Nonviolent Communication, I started experiencing all my feelings. 

It was a surprise to me to realise that I also had needs. 😯

I started noticing the anger that I was suppressing for years and I started very much expressing what I wanted and needed. 

I was demanding, I was in conflict with others as I was still not flexible in my skills and I started feeling scared and reverting to the status quo. 

Luckily I had guidance. I had teachers and coaches 🥋 who supported me and I kept going. 

Now, in many situations I can:

🎉 relate to my feelings and needs

🎉 the feelings and needs of the other person and 

🎉 hold both perspectives with respect

🎉 come with strategies that can potentially meet both our needs. 

And in the cases where I am not able to do that, I connect inwards and find self-compassion. 🤗

🧗‍♀️Transformation can be tricky and having a friend, a confident, a coach can help you.