How do you manage change?
I bet you have heard this quote before: “Change is the only constant in life” ~Heraclitus
What do you think about it? Do you agree/ disagree with it?
Looking into my life, I can definitely relate 100%.
There was always something happening: adapt to a kindergarten, adapt to a primary school, a secondary school, uni, a new job, another new job, different people, different countries, the loss of a loved one, the birth of a loved one, new relationships, loss of contact, re-gaining contact etc.
Everything around me is also changing:
The most natural thing: nature is changing every season and also through time.
We are experiencing different stages in life: baby, toddler, child, teenager, young adult etc.
Other people are experiencing changes which in one way or another change them.
Organisations change and evolve all the time. At this moment of time, so many organisations are in transition and hire or make people redundant
Mindsets change and evolve. Overall most people are in a much different mindset compared to our predecessors from ten thousand years ago.
And of course, all the things that are happening that maybe not at all or partially in our control environmentally, economically, politically.
So, how do we actually manage all that change without crumbling? How do we manage to cope with the changes in our lives and become more and more resilient?
As a change agent, professionally and by identity, I have learned and am practising many ways to cope with change. Today, I am going to share two with you that will help you or your organisation to go through transition in an easier way:
The Kübler Ross Change Curve.
Below is a version of how it looks like every time we are going through change.
The Kübler Ross Change Curve
Although this curve in its origin was associated with the Cycle of Grief, it started more and more to be experienced as a curve that actually happens when we go through any change.
Being aware of the curve is power. It supported me every time in very difficult or painful situations: the lockdowns during Covid, the loss of a loved one, undesired transitions in different companies I worked for. And I have experienced it on many occasions for changes I have actually deliberately provoked: moving into a new country, starting a new job or opening up my own business.
Being aware of where you or someone else is standing in the change curve helps you normalise things. What does not help is pushing yourself or others to artificially go through the different stages without really absorbing all the emotions that come with it, rushing things up because you or the other person “has to” accept the change.
Because you know what, there is no recipe. Yes, time is a factor that is quite helpful but there is no magic wand that in 2 months for example you would have gone through all kinds of changes. It depends on the change and how you navigate through those stages. For some, you can travel fast and reach acceptance and integration in a day. For others, it may take years or more if you are not conscious that you are still “coping” with that change. Example could be: you have changed your job because your partner had a great offer in another town, you had a great team in the previous job but quickly found a new job. You have been focused to get things going with the move and all and making nice new impressions and getting settled in the new job. Two, three months pass and you notice you tend to be angry and dissatisfied with the new place. You start blaming your partner because you did this change as he needed to move and you end up hating your new job or colleagues where all that this was about is actually recognising that you have not coped with the loss of your previous team at all and the connections that you had there which came back as a “bumerang” in a not so wishful way. Although this is a made-up example, it is very typical of how things may be going for you if you are not aware that you are still processing a change in your life and keep ignoring/ pushing feelings away.
Also, you may be pretty advanced in your change curve but something may happen which throws you back to square one. Example: you were almost moving to “Acceptance” with the recent news that your company will cut 50 jobs and started to make plan A and plan B of how it may look like for you while waiting for more news and you have heard that a dear colleague of yours has decided to resign for related or unrelated reason. Are you still in “Acceptance” or are you now in “Shock”, “Denial” or “Anger”?
Action for you today:
Are you consciously or subconsciously dealing with some kind of change in your life as big or as small as it could be? If yes, where are you in the Change Curve at the moment?
What insights does that give you?
(Optional) What could you anticipateif/when you go to the next stage of the change curve? What would it look like?
Action if you are a senior leader whose organisation is going through change:
What kind of support do you have on an organisational level to help people manage the change that is happening?
What kind of support do you have for yourself and your leadership team?
What kind of support do you have for people that may not be directly affected by the change?
2. (Re-) Discovering your identity and purpose:
Another way which boosted my resilience to unexpected levels and manage changes in my life was when I did some identity and purpose work on me to re-discover my own identity. It gave me an anchor, it felt like a compass or something that is deeply integrated in me and that regardless of where I go and what I do, my purpose is there and no one or nothing can take this from me. I can change jobs, countries, circles of friends but as long as I align to my purpose, I can go through anything. It's not just like a job which I will willingly or unwillingly change but it is something deeply rooted inside me and as long as I align my personal and professional actions with it, I will be alright.
I have helped hundreds of people and organisations to manage the change in their lives in a conscious and empowering way and make the most out of it. If you are going through a personal or organisational transition, I would love to help you as well.
Here is a testimonial of one of my clients whom I supported through his transition:
“I approached Vanya during a challenging career phase, experiencing stress in my new work environment. Her openness, intuition, and skills offered a fresh perspective, influencing how I approach my work. The practical exercises she shared were not only beneficial professionally but also significantly impacted my personal life, prompting a readjustment in my thinking and response to challenging situations.This program exceeded my expectations in impact —truly priceless!”
References:
The Kübler Ross Change Curve: https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/change-curve/
Purpose: to be or not to be: https://www.mandercoaching.co.uk/blog-3-1/purpose-to-be-or-not-to-be
Is your purpose aligned with the Purpose of your organisation: https://www.mandercoaching.co.uk/blog-3-1/is-your-purpose-aligned-with-the-purpose-of-your-team-and-organisation
