Inner connection
“You can not see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you can not see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm, clarity comes!“- Unknown
Have you ever experienced a situation when you want to do one thing or to behave/ communicate in a particular way, aligned to your values and instead, the conversation goes exactly the opposite way? Maybe you aspire to be kind and want to be genuinely supportive. However, sometimes, you end up frustrated and either blaming yourself or the other person for what happened?
Well, you are not alone. This happens to me all the time as well and is perfectly normal and even inevitable. It can occur anywhere: in the workplace with your colleague, with your line manager or at home with your parents, partner, children, friends etc. Maybe it was something the other person said or did, maybe you just can't explain why you reacted that way or what you wanted in this situation but before you are able to figure it out, it is too late. And let`s be honest: when was the last time that you were able to think rationally in the presence of high emotions…Instead what is left is bitterness and disconnection…
Don`t worry, though, as today I am about to give you some hacks that helped me be ahead of time before the temperature rises and the water starts boiling. It's all down to how connected you are with yourself.
I advise you to start by thinking of a situation that happened today or in the past couple of days and asking yourself the following:
What do I observe when I am thinking about this situation?
What are my judgements, beliefs, criticism, blame towards me or the other person in this situation?
Bring the thoughts and the observations in your mind. How do you feel about what happened?
Ask yourself, am I clear why I felt that way and what is it that I wanted/ needed?
Is there something I would like to take as an action to prevent a similar thing from happening again: e.g. requesting a specific thing from myself or from the other person?
Try this on a regular basis: for example, 10 minutes at the end of each day when you experience a disconnection and I can guarantee you that you will start seeing remarkable results, communicate better with others and discover so many things about yourself!
Wishing you a connected day!
